Scars

It's graduation week and I thought I'd be a lot more prepared for it than I am. Misty, Liz, Heather, Natasha, Phil, and a lot of my other friends are graduating and I don't know what I'll do without them here when I need them.

Everyone keeps telling me that nothing will change, but it already has, maybe I'm just the only one who notices. We've all stopped hangin out as much and I feel like I'm getting left behind by everyone except Laura and Sarah.

I really don't want to go to graduation on Monday. It's supposed to be a celebration, but to me, it's more like a funeral. The reminder that everything I've known for the past 5 years is changing and that the best years of my life are coming to a violent close. The death of my comfort and security, my whole life. All I can do now is hold on as tight as I can to the memories of the greatest people I've ever met, they have all changed me and my life forever. That's why it's just so hard to let go, I guess.

• Who will I call when I want to hang out and have fun? Heather won't answer the phone.
• Who will I go to for a laugh in the hallways of LHS or a friendly smile? Phil will only be the brief sense of nostalgia as I walk to my next class.
• Who will I have to call my house 50 times to make sure I'm ok when I go home drunk? Natasha won't be lookin out for me anymore.
• Who will tackle me from behind while I'm getting stuff out of my locker? Misty's wrestling days are over.
• Who will I have to swap dirty jokes with? Liz will be just a comedian of memory.

We are always told that one day, there will be a great dicision for you to make, a crossroads in your life which will lead you in different directions... I believe that one of those dicisions have finally come upon me...

As much as I hate to admit it, things are changing and there is nothing I can do about it. I can ignore it, but that doesn't mean it will stop changing, it just means it will change without me. So I guess I'll just hang on as tight as I can to what's still here and get ready for the ride of a lifetime.

Luv you all.